Animals are more afraid of you than you are of them, or at least
that's what everyone keeps saying. We've all heard this shtick from
park rangers, zookeepers, animal rights activists, you name it. And it
is always the same routine: some lousy statistic about how only two
people have ever been mauled in the history of your camping zone, you
surely won't be the third, and it was probably their fault anyway
because they were sleeping with snickers bars smeared all over their
faces or using summer sausages as pillows. That, or it's on the other
side of the equation and it's something no one would guess that
encouraged the bear or wolf or lion to attack like the scent of a roll
of camera film the camper had in a stinky shoe and we're all supposed
to go "Oh, camera film, of course!" like that even makes sense. And
then that's that, case closed: idiot campers and no need to worry
because it was their fault and not the giant predator's. These stats
and stories function mostly as repertoire for campfire conversations, a
good laugh, or subtle warnings, but as I found out the summer of 2008,
it's a hell of a different ball game when it's you the salivating bear
is staring in the face, not some re-enactment actor on National
Geographic.
History:
My family has been going to the Boundary Waters since
the mid 90's or so and my parents have been avid campers in the upper
regions of Minnesota starting in the early 80's. So suffice it to say,
when my father and I ventured into the wilderness this particular
summer, we were familiar with the area, we knew about bears, but we
hadn't seen any or had any difficulty with them whatsoever in that
nearly-thirty-year-span. And why would we worry? Every time we asked
the good natured locals about these seemingly mythical bears, we got
nonchalant shrugs or laughs. And now I should back up for a second only
so you don't start thinking that we have apathetic or uninformed people
running our national and state parks here in Minnesota. See, our bears
aren't grizzlies. They're fat, squatty, black bears with
narrow faces and giant satellite dish ears that give them the
appearance of an obese and unintelligent Labrador. Their interests are
mostly berries and fish and people claim you can chase them off with
pots and pans, yelling, and making yourself generally look like an
idiot.
seen any or had any difficulty with them whatsoever in that
nearly-thirty-year-span. And why would we worry? Every time we asked
the good natured locals about these seemingly mythical bears, we got
nonchalant shrugs or laughs. And now I should back up for a second only
so you don't start thinking that we have apathetic or uninformed people
running our national and state parks here in Minnesota. See, our bears
aren't grizzlies. They're fat, squatty, black bears with
narrow faces and giant satellite dish ears that give them the
appearance of an obese and unintelligent Labrador. Their interests are
mostly berries and fish and people claim you can chase them off with
pots and pans, yelling, and making yourself generally look like an
idiot.