Vampire Queen Still Sleeps with
Stuffed Animal

Word around the Land of the Dead is that Marceline the Vampire Queen may not be as tough as she looks. Marceline's ex-boyfriend, Ash, has been going around saying that she still sleeps with a stuffed animal.

She calls it "Hambo," and it looks to be about three centuries old. Ash also claims that Marceline still sucks her thumb, and has severe daddy issues because he ate her fries long ago. Her recent hit song, "Daddy," tells the story:

Daddy, why did you eat my fries?
I bought them and they were mine
But you ate them, yeah, you ate my fries
And I cried, but you didn't see me cry

Daddy, Do you even love me?
Well, I wish you'd show it
'Cause I wouldn't know it

What kind of dad eats his daughter's fries
And doesn't even look her in the eyes?
Daddy, there were tears there
If you saw them would you even care?